End Of Season Sale! Ski Shop Admits Only The Ugly Stuff Left

In the end-of-the-season haul, the resort ski shop is hosting a flash sale of 105% off all items, hoping everything will go faster than bacon off a hot griddle.

“Sweaters, mittens, hats with jumbo pom poms, it’s only the ugly stuff left, but it’s more than 100% off, so please come on down and take it!” said ski shop owner Fendi Lawson as he stocked a carrot-colored striped turtleneck in the window.

Skiers who had recently purchased items from the store were up in arms claiming they weren’t aware it was just their ugly gear left.

“I’m completely offended!” said a skier who recently bought corduroy ski pants in the store, “they basically paid me to walk out in these, but I was never told this was their ‘ugly’ clothes stock,” said the skier as they second-guessed the purchase they were literally paid to walk out of the store in.

The resort store was seen putting up “Basically Free” tags on trapper hats, bear claw shaped slippers, and everything else hoping to clear the ugly merch out once and for all.

70 Person Lunch Mix Up In ‘Brown Bag Lunch Only’ Section Causes Total Area Breakdown

Chaos was unleashed in the lodge’s ‘brown bag lunch only’ area after one person accidentally picked up the wrong brown bag lunch leading to another taking the wrong brown bag, where the scene quickly spiraled into dozens of lunchers stuck with the wrong brown bag lunch.

“I left my brown bag near the cubby,” said one family who was missing their stack of ham sandwiches. “I also left my brown bag next to the cubby,” said another who feared someone, at this very moment, was eating their leftover spaghetti parmesan from last night.

The area was in a complete flux as families began searching each other’s bagged lunches to find their meals, accusing each other of lunch thievery, at which point families were seen dumping the contents of every bagged lunch to make one giant bagged lunch to be served buffet-style.

Snow Shoveler Spends Shift Piling Snow Back In Place To Shovel

A resort employee was seen guaranteeing his own job security during the warmer spring days by placing snow he had already shoveled back into a pile on the main walkway to keep busy for another full month.

“I think it’s a good strategy, no one has really noticed,” said the employee as a bar full of spectators watched as he shoveled the same pile of snow for the 17th time.

“What else am I supposed to do?” said the employee as he tossed the pile and scooped it back up. “This will probably get me another month’s worth of work, at the least,” said the optimistic employee as half the pile turned to slush right before his eyes.

After the 2-inch snow cover was cleared into a nearby snowbank, the shoveler was seen picking the pile back up and combing it over the walkway like he was placing soil on farmland.

Bunny Slope Rope Tow Accidentally Pulls Pick-Up Truck Uphill From Parking Lot Like It’s Trout On Fishing Line

The skier rope tow on the bunny slope trail, “Robin’s Nest,” was seen pulling a fully-loaded truck up the mountain like it was the 1-ounce catch of the day.

“One minute I was driving through the parking lot, the next thing I know I’m being pulled up the mountain by a piece of rope thread,” said the pick-up truck driver, “unhook me this instant!” yelled the driver like he was a trout being reeled in on a fishing line.

A new-hire rope tow operator was seen frantically trying to shoo skiers away from the area as the truck gained momentum up the hill.

“The pulley system must have latched to the front end of the truck at some point. This is literally my first day!” said the shaky operator as he tried his best to unhook the truck at the top of the hill like he was releasing a fish back into the wild.

The operator was seen calling for backup after releasing the truck down the tubing hill, at which point it launched off a jump like an off-road car commercial before landing in the lodge like a car show.