The Lodge Report: News From The Slopes
Mountain Releases New Chairlift Conversation Starters Designed By Expert Chatterbox Pierre Fontaine
A new sign at the lift line, designed by chairlift conversationist and expert chatterbox Pierre Fontaine, features a list of conversation starters skiers and boarders can use on the way up the slopes. Pierre’s credentials include striking up conversations for minutes to hours in grocery store checkout lines around town, as well as at banks and gas pumps.
“This takes away the silence that persistently plagues riders up the lift when strangers are paired together. We hope this solves that silence,” said Pierre, confident his phrases will bring ski lift culture into a new social era.
The sign features some of the starters below that Pierre expertly crafted and annotated:
What are you doing here today? This is a nice introduction and establishes the basic parameters of your chat: your place in the world and who you are in relation to each other - Pierre
Brr…it’s cold out here. This will prime the other rider to realize why; yes, it is cold, and from there other conversations can take place. - Pierre
Are you skiing today? This question opens up an instant bond where a skier will realize, “ Aha, why yes, I am skiing today; I’m so happy you asked.” - Pierre
I see you’re wearing skis; do you always wear those? Grasping at straws is always essential for a first-time conversation and will signal the other rider to take over asking the questions. - Pierre
Skier Locked In Conversation On Chairlift Loops Around Lift For 7th Time
A skier was seen going around the lift for a seventh time after it looked like he was locked in a conversation with another rider, unable to break away from the chatter long enough to ski off the chair.
“We yelled up to him that we were all waiting for him, but his chairlift companion was going on and on about a recipe for pork chops he makes every Friday, and he just couldn’t get out of the conversation,” said the skier’s friends as they looked on hopelessly as their friend looped back down the lift.
"Most times there’s a third party to intervene and rescue the party that is struggling to exit the convo, but in this case the skier was fresh out of luck,” voiced concerned friends as the rider looped by again while his chairlift companion went on about the perfect Dijon sauce to pair with the chops.
SNOW REPORT ❄️
Current: Frosty. Plenty of snow.
Overnight: - 12 inches”…
Base Depth: 11,100 inches.
Mountain Exclusive: Backpack Cafe In Town Run By Rustic Knapsack
Backpack Cafe, a longstanding establishment run by an old JanSport knapsack, is still straps down the best coffee in town.
“We have no idea how the knapsack brews the coffee, but it’s always ready,” said a customer as he left a dollar in the knapsack’s side pocket.
“The knapsack does a great job. They have Bear Brew, Claw Croissants, and Lift Chair Chai, it’s truly a wonder how one single knapsack keeps this place running.”
Lift Line Update: Closed for conversation.
The Aprés Drink Of The Week: The Blue Square
Ingredients
1.5 oz vodka
1 oz blue curaçao
3 oz lemonade
dash of simple syrup
Combine in a shaker with ice. Strain. Garnish with a lemon slice.
Cheers.
