Ski Chalet Reminds Guests Wooden Skis Hanging Above Fireplace Are Decoration Only

Once again, a ski chalet is reminding guests that the aged wooden skis hanging above the fireplace are for mere decoration and not intended for actual use.

“How would I know that?” said ski chalet visitor Brian Puff as he attempted to hang the skis back in place after a day on the slopes. “I figure they were left out so I wouldn’t have to get rentals. It was like skiing on a pair of toothpicks.”

Brian had left the skis at the tuning shop earlier to sharpen the edges like they were a piece of timber being shaped into a functioning ski as the owner saw his decoration being buffed into splinters at which point he sent out another reminder to guests.

“It was like trying to tune a couple of logs on this thing,” said ski tuning shop owner Fritz, as he tried to sharpen another wooden ski before it caught fire like kindling.

Brian attempted to place the splintered skis above the fireplace, hoping the owner wouldn’t notice and played it off that he only rented the place to sled for the week and had no interest in skiing whatsoever, and that “he definitely wouldn’t have touched any skis or anything like that.”

Snowshoer Spins Around Like Coin After Group Of Snowboarders Fly By In Middle Of Trail

Causing a scene on Upper Scribble Scrabble, a snowshoer, Naomi Poppins, was seen spinning like a coin after a group of snowboarders whipped past her, sending her spinning like a top on a table.

Naomi was seen whirling around like a figure skater, trying to catch a grip by grabbing the air, before she spun across the trail like a tornado, trying to stabilize herself, saying, “Alright, alright, Naomi, you got this!”

Right as Naomi grabbed a tree branch, the snowboarders lapped her, sending her spinning like a hula hoop across the trail at speeds of up to 200mph.

Skiers were advised to avoid the area until the snowshoer’s rotation slows to a reasonable speed.

Skier Weirdly Content That Trip To Summit Left Him With Frozen Eyebrows

A skier is descending from the summit like a hero after it was cold enough to freeze his eyebrows in place like two horizontal icicles.

"It’s proof that I went up there as far as I see it,” said the skier as he sat with his eyebrows frozen like two popsicle sticks on his forehead.

“There’s still snow to be found, and it looks like I was the only one brave enough to seek it out,” he continued as he popped his skis off to go make an impression on skiers inside the lodge.

The skier was seen entering the bar where his frozen eyebrows quickly defrosted losing him any proof that he braved a trip to the summit with subzero temps.

Skier Woke Up Early And Everything Only To Have First Tracks Erased By Single Wind Gust

In an attempt to get the last first tracks of the season, a skier camped at the top of Rhombus Circuit all season just to get first tracks down Upper Pinecone Pass like he was getting his footprints on the moon before the mountain closes.

The skier forged two perpendicular lines down the slope like he was laying railroad tracks, shouting cries of joy after finally succeeding in his mission, until the wind blew .1 seconds later, dusting a layer of snow right over his tracks, erasing his work like dry marker on a whiteboard.

Shortly after, a skier snowplowed down Upper Pinecone Pass, saying, “First tracks, first tracks!” as he claimed the glory of leaving first ski prints before planting a flag with his surname and capturing his picture before sending it off to the global news for publication of his feat.