Skier Afraid To Descend On Skis Suggests He Zipline Down Tram Line Instead

A scene unfolded at the summit on the black diamond Hellfire Throttle where a skier decided he would rather pop off his skis and attempt to zipline down the mountain like he was James Bond instead of skiing down the black diamond trail.

“I got up here, and saw the trail name Hellfire Throttle, can’t I just throw my ski over the tram wire and zipline back down to the bottom? I mean, it definitely seems safer than descending Hellfire Throttle on two sticks,” said the skier, convinced ziplining down a tram wire like a secret agent was less risky.

“I’m just gonna call it a day and throw my ski, or pole, over the line, and you guys go on ahead, and I’ll see you at the bottom,” relayed the skier to his friends as he prepared to descend the mountain like he was a world-class spy in a 007 movie.

The skier was seen attempting his descent, where he said he “would grab onto his ski with both hands over the wire like a makeshift zipline” and zip down to the base lodge.

Before he was set to cruise down the mountain, he was plucked off the wire by ski patrol, where he was placed in a toboggan and descended in tow like a child sitting in a Radio Flyer wagon.

Fur-Clad Group Heading To Après Mistaken For Herd Of Mountain Goats

A group of après skiers dressed in full fur ensembles were mistaken for a herd of mountain goats from afar by wildlife observers.

“I see about 10, possibly 15 mountain goats, how exciting,” said the observer from roughly 400 yards away as she watched the group of fur-clad happy hour hopefuls walking along an obscured path to the lodge.

“They usually don’t come down this low in altitude at this time of day. This is very rare,” continued the observer as she shushed her climbing partner to deter scaring off the bunch.

“There seems to be a big grizzly in the back, definitely an odd pairing,” continued her research partner as a man dressed in fur pants, hat, and fluffy boots trailed behind the group. 

Upon closer look, the researchers reported the mountain goats and grizzly were seen drinking martinis in a ground-breaking scene recorded for the first time in history.

Skier Connecting To Different Lifts Like It’s A City Transit System

Navigating the mountain like morning rush hour, a skier was seen connecting to different lifts like it was a public transit system.

“I’ll take the magic carpet at 9, then hopefully catch the Eagle Express to the Zippy Lift, and then from there I’ll take the Red Line over to the Yellow Jacket Chair, before hopping on the tram to the summit,” said the skier as she called her friends to coordinate a meet-up.

The skier continued to list off 10 more connections she’d have to make to get to lunch in time before the lodge closes, like she was navigating the transit system of the New York City metro area.

The skier was seen attempting to jump fare by hopping over the lift gates, but was quickly caught by lift attendants in the first-ever fare hop they’ve seen on the mountain.

Ski Boots Roasting On Boot Warmer In Lodge Like Roast Chickens

Guest services sent out an announcement seeking the owner of a pair of boots seen roasting on a boot warming machine in the lodge for the last 4-5 hours.

“The boots have been sitting on the machine, roasting like chickens at the supermarket; they’re definitely overdone,” said a concerned guest services member as they attempted to rotate the boots as they crisped to a light char coloring.

“A few hours ago, the skier turned the boot warmer on like he was preheating an oven, leaving his boots to toast while he enjoyed time in the lodge, and never returned,” said the employee as skiers hovered around the boots asking if they were included in their lunch package.

The boots were seen being removed from the machine with a pair of tongs by kitchen staff before being wrapped in aluminum foil like baked potatoes, and placed in the grab-n-go case for “ready-to-eat” lunch options.