Mountain Shut Down After Skier In Shark Fin Helmet Spotted

The mountain has been shut down until further notice after a skier in a shark fin helmet was spotted cruising down Rock Ravine, slowly meandering back and forth across the slope like a great white shark casing the shoreline.

“The fin was seen heading across the ravine around 9 a.m., and that’s when we had to make the ultimate decision to shut the entire mountain down,” said concerned mountain employees as the shark fin reappeared on Casper’s Hideaway 30 minutes later. “It shows no sign of slowing down, so really we have no other choice.”

The fin was last seen heading towards the bunny slope where staff were hoping it would disappear off into the parking lot before it took a sharp left turn right towards the lodge.

Staff continue to advise riders and guests to be on high alert and hope the shark fin clears the area by lunchtime.

Tourist Attempts To Snap Into Skis Wearing Flip-Flops

A tourist was seen snapping into a pair of skis wearing flip-flops and continued to mush their way towards the lift line before flying out of their skis like they were head over handlebars.

“The tourist laid the skis out just before the lift line and was wearing a pair of, I don’t know, maybe they were Tommy Bahama, before they placed their flops directly in the binding; the tong completely ripped out after 30 seconds in the ski,” said an onlooker as the tourist collected what was left of their flip-flops like it was shredded rubber on a runway.

“This happens frequently as tourists rely heavily on Tommy Bahama flip flops, a vacation staple,” said shop tuner Phil Jenkins as he explained in depth why the flip-flop wouldn’t fit in a ski binding.

The tourist was seen sliding away in their torn flip-flops using ski poles to propel themselves saying they would “settle for cross-country skiing instead” before they were thwarted when they saw a sign for margaritas in the bar.

Ski Instructor Will Host Groundbreaking Discussion On “Origin Of The Mitten”

An academic discussion, led by local ski instructor and attire expert, Jasper Knit, will be all about the mitten.

“The mitten was the biggest thing to happen to skiing. Period. Its story is one of resilience; most people don’t know it was actually designed after the oven mitt,” said the instructor with the enthusiasm of a Harvard professor before drawing a rough sketch of a mitten, labeling the anatomy as “thumb area” and “other”.

The discussion hopes to pay homage to one of the skier’s most-prized items and enlighten riders that mittens didn’t just materialize out of thin air; they were invented by someone, somewhere.

Jasper’s discussion has some unexpected competition after a rival instructor began hosting the Origin Of The Glove, which hopes to steal the spotlight.